whoever said three's a crowd...never met us.

• sam: oh my god. kay you tried to kill me in my dream.
• kay: that's. how. i. roll.

“MOM, WE’LL JUST BE AT COLES!”

(browsing through Coles)

tricia: *points to picture of an old man* HEY SAM i didn’t know you posed for this cover?

sam: ew yaaa oookkkkk atee, fine! lemme find you then!

tricia: *points to an old woman” AW SAM here you are!

sam: uuggghhhh

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tricia: *FINDS A BABY PHOTOGRAPHY BOOK*

tricia: oooo cuute! look at the baby on the cover ahahah so chubs (FIRST PHOTO)

sam: hahahahah you would

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tricia: omg look its baby k’naaan! (SECOND PHOTO)

 sam: what the! omg! so cute!

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tricia: OMG haahahahahah he…hahahahaha…looks…hahahahaha like a …..hahahah… PAINTER

sam: HAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHA

sam: he’s a man baby!

*sidenote: no hate towards man-babies. the contrast just was so… evident.

• sarah (virus): hi!
• me: hi! how are you?
• sarah (virus): i found this cool dating site! you should join!
• me (suspicious): who are you?
• sarah (virus): it's obviously me...
• me: i don't believe you cyber sarah.
• sarah (virus): well here, come join the dating site! and add me as a friend!
• me (thinking): i'm bored.
• end of conversation.

• kay & sam: bachelor pad!
• kay & sam: hahahahahahaahahaahahaha...
• sam: we don't even like that show..
• kay: hahaha, i'm crying...

• kay: can i eat?
• sam: no, one meal per child.

• *kay is texting on her phone, giggling.
• mark: "are you talking to a girl or boy?"
• kay: "both actually..."
• sam: "hm, interesting. so a hermaphrodite."
• kay: "ewwwwww..."
• sam" "wow kay so mean."

• kay: i'm gonna burn you.
• *lights candle
• sam: um, mom...

• Tricia: (laughing from previous jokes as per our conversation in the last five minutes)
• Syd: hey, can you get me something exotic from peru?
• Tricia: ok sure
• Syd: but I want it to be like "whoooaaa that's strange! But so cool!"
• Tricia: hahahahah ok, but I will be in the middle of the amazon and I don't think there'll be duty frees or souvenir huts nearby syd
• Syd: then can you get me something likee...oh! Like a snake egg!
• Tricia: a snake egg :/ ...... Hahahha ok where would I put it I can't get that through customs.
• Syd: maybe if you put it in your butt
• Tricia: ......................... You want me to put a snake egg in my butt (laughter ensues!!)
• Sam: hahahahahahahahaahh whatt are you guys talking about?!